Taking a Beeting

(Author's note: other titles rejected for this post included Beetniks, Just Beet It, and The Beetitudes)


I recently signed up for a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) box after reading Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma (his most recent article is here). A CSA box provides you with a hearty helping of organic produce, supporting local independent farmers instead of agribusiness giants - click the CSA link above for a farm in your area (yes, even in Las Vegas).

Since they give you whatever is in season, it means you need to be creative. For example, in the past few weeks I've wound up with 6 beets. I wasn't even sure they were beets at first, having never seen an actual beet. My Russian ancestors would be so ashamed. Actually, apparently this is not true, since chard is also a beet (!) but I have not seen the body.

But it is a root vegetable, which means theoretically that you should be able to do anything to it that you do to a potato. As mentioned before, potatoes are to nutrition what the Real Housewives of New Jersey is to art - so you get the bonus of something with vitamins and, you know, flavor.

My first thought was to do yam fries, substituting beet for the yam. This being my first encounter with beets, I didn't know how to tell when they were cooked; my batch wasn't (areas of lighter pink are a good sign; when those areas start turning brown it's getting close to burnt).

Then a friend suggested beet chips - which is effectively the exact same thing, you just cut the beet differently. All the recipes I found suggested using a mandoline because it's hard to get the beet sliced thin enough; I used a peeler the first time and I think it was too thin and also ended up making my kitchen look like a set for CSI. You don't need to peel them if you clean the outside well enough, which is good, since beets are juicy and messy; prepare accordingly.

Ingredients:
1+ beet(s), sliced reasonably thin (about the same thickness as a potato chip)
Oil (canola or olive)
Optional: salt, paprika, grated parmesan, etc.

The first time around I tried deep frying. I just heated oil in a pan (enough to cover) and then put in the sliced beet(s). Stir occasionally, and when you notice the lighter areas getting brown and them looking more like chips, put them out on a paper towel to cool a bit. Add seasoning if desired, although they're pretty darn good plain.

You can also shave a few hundred calories from the recipe by putting a tablespoon (or more if you have 3+ beets) of oil in a bowl and toss the beet chips in there and then evenly distribute them on a cookie sheet and bake them at 400 degrees. The recipe I read said 45 minutes to an hour but I burned the first batch and undercooked the second so I recommend frequent checking. It also said to flip part way through but I'm not sure how necessary that is. Anyway, the 3rd picture is deep fried and the 4th is baked but I defy anyone to tell the difference - assuming they're cooked properly.

One final note: be prepared for the beet-ness to pervade your trips to the bathroom for the next 24-36 hours. No, you don't have an intestinal hemorrhage, that's just the beets. Hopefully.

Fun with Food Processors 2: Venergy Drinks

If I had more business acumen, I might try spinning Venergy Drinks into a retail shop. Like Jamba Juice, except...with a different name. And different ingredients. In fact, I did wonder briefly whether I was making a mistake putting this up online - until I realized that I only have three confirmed readers so far (hi gals!) and that places like Jamba Juice do you one better, and let you see all the ingredients and exactly how to make it, free with any purchase.

For the record, these aren't completely like Jamba Juice. I am also ripping off V8.

These are highly customizable, and excellent if you are like me and getting a box of seasonal organic produce once every two weeks. It's basically a smoothie with vegetables in it. It's one of the single healthiest things you can consume, with the caveat that your body reacts differently when you chew something than when you drink something and so it's probably not great for your digestion. I've actually noticed these are really filling, but that actually seems like a pro, rather than a con.

General guideline is that you want about a 1:1 balance of fruit to vegetables, something juicy enough to make it drinkable (or add water), and something other than fruit or veggies to give it flavor (in addition to the spices listed below, I've also tried peanut butter). If the fruit doesn't give it enough sweetness on its own, add honey or agave nectar.

Venergy Drink 1 (aka V8*)
1 grapefruit
1/2 cucumber
2 carrots, peeled
3-4 handfuls of blueberries
1-2 handfuls of grapes
1 inch piece of scallion
1 tsp ground ginger
2 sprigs of fresh parsley
1 tsp of honey

Venergy Drink 2 (aka V12 - pictured above)
1 peach, pitted
1 large orange
2 carrots, peeled
1/2 cucumber
3-4 handfuls of blueberries
1-2 handfuls of grapes
1/4 cup of salad (mixed greens, cabbage, chard, lettuce, etc)
1/4 cup of broccoli
1 tsp cinammon

Go easy with the spices, a little goes a long way and you can always add more. For the record, of the two above I preferred the second one - the peach has so much fructose in it that I didn't need to add anything else to it to sweeten it. I made one this morning using apple and nectarine but had to add about 2 cups of water to get it to be liquidy enough.

* I am using the apparent V8 definition of what constitutes a vegetable, as their recipe includes the herbs parsley and watercress, as well as tomatoes - which, despite what the Supreme Court might tell you, are a fruit.

Novelties: Veggie Pizza with Portobello Mushroom Crust

This was one of my more inventive ideas - along with Venergy Drinks, coming soon. I still think it is theoretically possible to pull this off, but I'm not convinced the effort is worth it, since you can cut the stem off a portobello to make a mini-pizza anyway.

The basic idea, though, was to make a pizza crust without using dough. I've played around with roasted portobello mushroom dishes and decided that if I threw some mushrooms in my food processor and added some oil, I could make a crust. I threw in a few cloves of garlic, because why not get that in the "crust" directly if you can?

Ingredients:
2-3 portobello mushrooms
2-3 cloves of garlic
1/2 cup (maybe? Eyeball it) olive oil
1/2 cup tomato sauce, or canned diced tomatoes with basil and oregano
diced veggies/toppings of your choice
cheese of choice - enough to cover

Then the toppings are just like a basic pizza. You could theoretically do whatever you want.

I baked it for over an hour at 350 degrees. The "crust" never cohered, and burned a little around the edges. Although you couldn't eat it like a pizza, which was my main goal, it still tasted pretty good.

I'm thinking an egg or something else with emulsifiers might work better to bind it if I try it again. I may try to make the crust thinner, too. Pre-cooking or drying the crust may help as well.

Fun with Food Processors 1: Sun-Dried Tomato Tapenade

Tapenade is a French word for "delicious on bread." Typically its made with olives. This recipe adds sun dried tomatoes because it's cool like that.

Ingredients:
Olives
Olive oil
Garlic
Sun dried tomatoes
Lime juice (optional)
Paprika
Salt and pepper to taste

You can probably do this in a blender but I recommend a food processor instead. If you're not sure about the operation, just remember that ingredients go inside the food processor, and body parts stay outside.

I haven't put in measurements because I usually eyeball it. I go for a roughly 1:1 ratio of olives to sun dried tomatoes. I recommend draining the olives first so that the salt from the brine doesn't ruin it - something I've learned from experience.

You can pick your poison as far as the olives are concerned - I've used kalamata, Spanish, and black, but the olives should be a secondary taste to the tomatoes. And the garlic. Mmmm, garlic.

If your tomatoes came in a jar with oil in it, you can use some of that oil in the recipe. If they are dry (like mine were, above), you will need to either add some water or some olive oil to get the consistency right. I'm not sure about the lime juice, but I had some around last time I made it and figured it might fill out the flavor some. It'd be fine without, though, so if you're skittish, you can omit it.

Aside from being amazing on bread, you can also use it in wraps or with eggs. It's amazing with bread, though.

Sweet Potato/Yam Fries

Potatoes are one of the biggest crops in the world (along with corn and wheat), but they are a nutritional black hole. Yams aren't exactly a nutritional goldmine, but they're way better than non-sweet potatoes - and they actually, you know, have a flavor, instead of tasting like moist spackle.

Recipes abound for baked yam fries...which I should try ones of these days. I just used the way I learned to make fries and substituted yams for potatoes (N.B. - the oil adds calories, though, so calorie-conscious folks are better off baking).

It's really easy: peel the yam, saving the peels for stock if you like. Slice it into a pleasing, fry-like shape. You should get a lot of fries from a single yam - if not, you may be using a carrot by mistake.

Heat canola oil in a large saucepan. Add fries. Cook. I will sometimes reserve the excess oil in a jar to re-use later.

These are good with ketchup or mayo (unless Vincent Vega will be joining); if your local super market stocks it and you like spicy food, wasabi mustard works well, too.

Cowboy Soup

Soup really is good food, although I think it's way better when it's not out of a can. And given how easy it is to make, why would you use canned stuff? The ease with which it is made can be summarized by the following equation:

ingredients + water + heat + time = soup

Note that I have water listed in the equation, although it's way better with stock, which is really easy to make. It's also very Earth conscious, since you make it with stuff you would normally throw away. Go green. Just not in your soup. Unless it's St. Patrick's Day.

This is basically a tomato vegetable soup. I used the stock I made in the last recipe and then made up some more with some yam peelings, some chard stems, and the remnants of a lime I had squeezed for the lime juice.

Ingredients (but really, do whatever):
2 tbsp olive oil
1 quarter white onion, diced*
1 cup diced scallions*
1 orange pepper, diced*
1 yellow pepper, diced*
5 cloves garlic, minced*
2 liters vegetable stock*
1 can unsalted diced tomatoes, with juice*
1 can kidney beans*
1 can black beans*
2 cups chopped Swiss chard*
1 tsp turmeric
2 tbsp paprika*
salt and black pepper to taste
grated parmesan
3 basil leaves, chopped

* Or more. Or less. Seriously, do whatever. Note that I did not put an asterisk by the turmeric...that stuff is pretty potent so it's one of the few spices where I err on the side of caution.

You could get by with throwing everything in a pot and waiting for the veggies to get soft and the soup to taste yummy. But I modified a recipe in How to Cook Everything, which, despite its title, has a woefully limited scope.

Heat the olive oil in the biggest sauce pan/crock pot/iron cauldron you have. Sauteé the onions and scallions until your kitchen smells yummy. Add the peppers and the garlic and lightly sauteé them. Remember Alton Brown's directives about garlic: the smaller you mince it, the stronger the flavor; and once you burn it, it's toast.

Add the stock. If you have frozen stock, melt it separately (or in the microwave). Add everything but the parmesan and basil. Bring to a boil, then reduce to low heat and cover, letting simmer for a few hours.

Garnish with parmesan and fresh basil. Makes 10 servings. Maybe more. Maybe less.

Taking stock

Vegetable soup is probably one of my favorite ways to actually eat vegetables, and it's great because you can pretty much put whatever you want in there and if the rest of it is okay, you'll be fine.

I've made it before with just water, and it's fine, but it's better with vegetable stock. Save up all the stuff you would normally toss - peelings, cores, stems, whatever - and then just stew it in hot water.

I feel weird even giving a recipe here, because it kind of defeats the point, but here's what I used:
- peels from two yams
- stems of 4 portobello mushrooms
- cores from 2 crookneck squash and 3 zucchini
- leaves from 3 leek stalks

You want enough water to cover at least, maybe more if you've got some really nutrient-rich stuff in there like kale or something. (N.B. - we'll cover recipes that leave you with yam peels, mushroom stems, squash cores, etc. later).

Bring to a boil; reduce to a low heat and let stew for a few hours, maybe longer. Everything should have become waterlogged, and the water should be a different color. Find a suitable container (I used another pot) and use a colander or strainer to filter the veggies from the water. Squeeze remaining water out of the veggies with a spoon before discarding them.

As you can see, I got an earthy brown vegetable stock. I decided to split it into two containers and refrigerate one and freeze the other. One would go to the vegetable soup, and the other to something completely different...

Thai Curry Chicken with Fresh Veggies

Much like Brett's love interest in episode 2 of Flight of the Conchords, this dish is flippin' hot, like a curry. In fact, it is a curry - a Thai curry, which is my favorite kind. The main difference I see between Indian and Thai curries, aside from the spelling, is the presence of coconut milk (bwdik?).


It's important to make sure your meat is fresh, which is why I always bite off a giant mouthful of raw chicken before cooking. If you don't need to go to the hospital the next day, your chicken may not be fresh, and you should get rid of it so as not to run any health risks.

The basic ingredients (all quantities approximate):
2-3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (I buy the family size packages and freeze the rest)
1 can of coconut milk (you can go with light if you want)
2-3 tomatoes, cored and seeded, diced
1/2 a white onion, chopped
3 white mushrooms, diced
2+ cloves of minced garlic (I love garlic so I used 4-5)
1 lime (or lime juice)
1/4 tsp turmeric (just a dab'll do ya)
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground ginger or garam masala
1 tsp paprika (or to taste)
2 tbsp fresh basil
salt and pepper to taste

In a ziploc bag, combine coconut milk, spices, and lime juice for marinade. Trim fat from chicken and slice into small pieces. Marinate overnight.

Empty contents into a large sauce pan or pot on high heat (the wider the pan, the quicker it'll cook). Add the vegetables. Bring to a boil, then reduce down to thicken the sauce. The chicken will gradually turn white as it cooks - when it's cooked all the way through, you can begin the editing process.

Most dishes I make go through some significant revisions before I serve it, although that may be because I'm making so much stuff up as I go along. I tried adding some allspice, cayenne pepper, and celery salt, which didn't seem to hurt, and cloves, which did.

You can add other veggies, too. One of the great things about curries is you can put in whatever healthy stuff you want and you'll primarily end up tasting the curry. That and the salmonella.

Giddyup

The current plan is to document my culinary adventures and impromptu recipes, with the hope of getting plugged in to a community of like-minded folks.

Recipes currently under development:
Sweet and spicy chicken salad
Sun dried tomato tapenade
Cowboy chili
Thai curry chicken
Broiled portobello mushroom with cheese
Pesto hummus

The goal is to have recipes that are both healthy and flexible. I try to avoid refined carbs and sugars whenever possible. A lot of my recipes end up being vegetarian- and/or vegan-friendly, FWIW.

About the name: it was my girlfriend's idea, on observing that I tend to play pretty fast and loose with recipes.

cowboykitchen without the dash was taken, as was kitchencowboy. The former is private, the latter is not - take a look at his one and only post for a meditation on abandoned projects (the first line of his only post: This is the first blog for me to post, ever and I hope I can stick to it.).

Hopefully I can stick with this...like parmesan crisps to a cookie sheet. Mmm, parmesan.