Taking a Beeting

(Author's note: other titles rejected for this post included Beetniks, Just Beet It, and The Beetitudes)


I recently signed up for a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) box after reading Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma (his most recent article is here). A CSA box provides you with a hearty helping of organic produce, supporting local independent farmers instead of agribusiness giants - click the CSA link above for a farm in your area (yes, even in Las Vegas).

Since they give you whatever is in season, it means you need to be creative. For example, in the past few weeks I've wound up with 6 beets. I wasn't even sure they were beets at first, having never seen an actual beet. My Russian ancestors would be so ashamed. Actually, apparently this is not true, since chard is also a beet (!) but I have not seen the body.

But it is a root vegetable, which means theoretically that you should be able to do anything to it that you do to a potato. As mentioned before, potatoes are to nutrition what the Real Housewives of New Jersey is to art - so you get the bonus of something with vitamins and, you know, flavor.

My first thought was to do yam fries, substituting beet for the yam. This being my first encounter with beets, I didn't know how to tell when they were cooked; my batch wasn't (areas of lighter pink are a good sign; when those areas start turning brown it's getting close to burnt).

Then a friend suggested beet chips - which is effectively the exact same thing, you just cut the beet differently. All the recipes I found suggested using a mandoline because it's hard to get the beet sliced thin enough; I used a peeler the first time and I think it was too thin and also ended up making my kitchen look like a set for CSI. You don't need to peel them if you clean the outside well enough, which is good, since beets are juicy and messy; prepare accordingly.

Ingredients:
1+ beet(s), sliced reasonably thin (about the same thickness as a potato chip)
Oil (canola or olive)
Optional: salt, paprika, grated parmesan, etc.

The first time around I tried deep frying. I just heated oil in a pan (enough to cover) and then put in the sliced beet(s). Stir occasionally, and when you notice the lighter areas getting brown and them looking more like chips, put them out on a paper towel to cool a bit. Add seasoning if desired, although they're pretty darn good plain.

You can also shave a few hundred calories from the recipe by putting a tablespoon (or more if you have 3+ beets) of oil in a bowl and toss the beet chips in there and then evenly distribute them on a cookie sheet and bake them at 400 degrees. The recipe I read said 45 minutes to an hour but I burned the first batch and undercooked the second so I recommend frequent checking. It also said to flip part way through but I'm not sure how necessary that is. Anyway, the 3rd picture is deep fried and the 4th is baked but I defy anyone to tell the difference - assuming they're cooked properly.

One final note: be prepared for the beet-ness to pervade your trips to the bathroom for the next 24-36 hours. No, you don't have an intestinal hemorrhage, that's just the beets. Hopefully.